


21 Things My Father Never Told Me

by TazersKaner (msrogersstark)



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Angst, Fluff, M/M, ficlits, strokes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-04-13
Updated: 2014-08-16
Packaged: 2018-01-19 06:02:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,284
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1458619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/msrogersstark/pseuds/TazersKaner
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s not being a star. It’s just being him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. You Are Stronger Than You Realize

**Author's Note:**

> This is based on a tumblr post with the same title.  
> I will have many different relationships and I'll add to the tags when I've added more.  
> \--

Tyler doesn’t think it could really get any worse than this. Being told that the team he’s tried to do so much for doesn’t want him anymore. Being shunned across every social media. He may have tweeted one homophobic thing but it’s nothing compared to the number of hate tweets, comments, messages he’s been getting. Maybe it’s just being a star, he thinks. He knows it isn’t though. It’s never happened to Brownie or Patrice. It’s not being a star. It’s just being him. 

When he finds out that he’s headed to Dallas, he barely has time to hang up before he’s in tears, fists clenching the covers, pushing his face into the pillows. If he’d known how terrible this would be, he would have just given up playing hockey in the first place. That’s when he remembers, hockey. That’s why he does this. He sits up and picks up his phone, texting his new captain. 

When Tyler arrives at the airport in Dallas and he doesn’t know a single person, he’s ready to breakdown again but he’s here now. Then he sees Jamie and smiles. Jamie takes his bags from him and gives him this shy smile and Tyler can see this going to be ok. 

He’s criticized by the media to no end about his twitter and his partying and he doesn’t ever want to talk about it again. Every time he has to answer a question about whether or not he’d been hacked, he wanted to strangle the reporter. After a particularly awful media session, he catches Jamie’s eye and Jamie just nods at him and mouths “Good job.” Tyler is happy for the rest of the day. 

They’re pushing for a playoff spot and Tyler is exhausted. He wants this so bad, wants to prove himself so badly. Jamie gets more uptight and worried as the number of games ticks lower. The night before the game where they can clinch a playoff spot, Jamie pushes Tyler onto the bed in Tyler’s apartment and shuts the door with his foot before covering Tyler’s mouth with his own. 

They win the next night and it becomes a tradition. 

Tyler has been to the finals of the Stanley Cup and lost. Then, he’d known that it was his last chance. He’d been devastated.   
The Stars are under dogs but that doesn’t matter to Tyler. He can tell it matters to Jamie but Tyler finds himself relaxing, as it gets closer to the first game. He’s got Jamie, he’s got his team now and he has nothing to prove. Whatever happens, he’s got his place here. And he’s never going to leave.


	2. You're Crueler Than You Realize

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I shouldn’t have fallen in love with you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based off a post of the same name that I found on Tumblr  
> \--

Roberto wouldn’t say he’s ecstatic about the trade but he wouldn’t say he’s sad. At least not until he gets to the airport and a cab pulls up next to his. Eddie gets out of the cab and his face is red, a sure sign that he’s been crying. Roberto can’t look him in the eyes and now he’s regretting everything he’s ever said about wanting to leave. He can’t leave Eddie here alone. He’ll be torn apart, thrown under the bus like the Cory and like himself. He sets his suitcase down on the curb and wraps his arms around Eddie’s shaking body.

“I’ll see you soon, Eddie.” He whispers because they’ll be playing each other in the very near future. “Be strong for me.”

Eddie barely has a chance to say anything before Lu pulls away  to grab his bags.

“Wait.” Eddie touches Lu’s shoulder.  “You’re my mentor, you’re- you’re more than that. I need you here! You can’t go.”

“I know you’re new to this but you can’t just say no.” Roberto tried to explain.

“I may be new, but I know that this isn’t a surprise. You’ve wanted this all year.” Eddie spat. “You don’t give a damn about me, about us.”

“That’s not-“

“You’ve been on your way out all year. I should’ve known this would happen.” Eddie turned his back on Lu. “I shouldn’t have fallen in love with you.”

Those words hit Lu right in the heart and he ached to pull Eddie close to him and hold him tight.

“I’ll see you soon.” Roberto said simply and picked up his suitcase.

It took everything he had not to look back at Eddie. 


	3. The Smallest Words Will Break Your Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Marc reads the word ‘stroke’ he feels as though he’s going to faint

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy :)

 

When Marc reads the word ‘ _stroke_ ’ he feels as though he’s going to faint. None of Kris’s family knows that he’s dating Marc which means Marc had to find out about Kris’s _stroke_ from the news on his iPhone. It also means he has to call Sidney (who’d been told before him) to find out what hospital Kris was in. He’d been around Kris when he was complaining of dizziness but neither had thought much of it. Marc really wished he had.

 

Kris is alive and awake when Marc gets there. He’s read the protocols on _strokes_ before so what he was expecting was to see Kris, lying in bed with one side of his body completely motionless. Marc was ready to accept that Kris wouldn’t play hockey again, wouldn’t be able skate or write or live his life the way that Marc had expected.

 

Instead, he finds Kris sitting up in bed, chatting with one of his friends that Marc hasn’t ever met before. Marc lingers in the doorway, somewhat unsure of what he should do. Kris was speaking in rapid French and Marc smiled because his speech wasn’t impaired at all. As he waits for the conversation to wind down, he finds himself thinking how beautiful Kris looks. His hair is a bit flat, which Marc attributes to the fact that he’s been lying in a hospital bed. Kris is dressed in jeans and an old Val-d’Or Foreurs hoodie. He is looking a bit pale but that's ok. He's alive. And to Marc, it's more beautiful than he's ever looked before.  He must have made a sound because Kris’s conversation stops and the room falls silent.

 

“Hi.” Marc says quietly.

Kris beams and his friend eyes Marc suspiciously.

“Brian, Je voudrais que vous rencontriez mon ami Marc. (I would like you to meet my boyfriend Marc)” Kris says to his friend.

Marc’s brain stutters to a stop, catching the word _boyfriend_ in his phrase. He chalks it up to the fact that Kris had a stroke.If not, Kris would have introduced him to Brian just the same as he would the rest of his family. 

“Bonjour.” Marc holds out his hand.

Brian nods to him and politely excuses himself.

 

Marc walks towards the bed.

“You know, being your boyfriend, I sort of thought I would be told you’d had a _stroke_ before I read it online.”

Kris sighs. “You know that I couldn’t call you and my family didn’t know.”

“They called Sidney before they called me.” Marc points out.

Kris tugs him onto the bed. “Lay off them ok?”

“I’m just worried.” Marc replies, kicking off his shoes and lying down next to Kris.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize for your body being stupid.”

“I can if I want to.” Kris pokes him.

 

Marc is silent for a while.

“Baby.” Kris kisses his hair. “Talk to me.”

Marc takes a breath “I thought you were going to die. I thought you would be brain dead or something like that, I don’t know. But you seem like yourself.”

“I am myself.” Kris insists.  “Nothing’s different.”

“You know what _stroke_ means don’t you. It means hospital trips and check-ins and no hockey and no safety.” Marc starts to ramble. “It means I could lose you!”

 

Kris rubs Marc’s back. “I’ll be back at hockey soon Marc and as for the check-ins, we have them all the time. I know it’s scary. Please believe that I’m in the best hands and that I won’t leave you here.”

Marc sniffles and relaxes against Kris a bit more.

“Why are you in the hospital?”

“Precautionary really. Protocol.” Kris shrugs. “I’m just not supposed to be using too much energy, that’s all.”

Marc nods.

“When we get out of here, I’m going to tell my parents about us.” Kris decides out loud.

“Really?” Marc asks, curling up against Kris.

“If you want.” Kris puts an arm around him. ‘That way, you won’t be called after Sid.”

Marc laughs and looks up at him. “I want that.”

 

They chat quietly for a while before Marc’s eyes start to drift closed and Kris slides them down the bed a bit so they can both sleep.

 

In the end, they never have to out right tell Kris’s parents. They came back to check on their son that night and found him and Marc tangled together in bed (fully clothed of course)

 

Kris is discharged from the hospital a few days later and even though the word _stroke_ still burns his mouth when he says it, Marc knows Kris is going to be ok.

 


	4. Let Him Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You’ll forget your email password but ten years from now you’ll still remember the number of steps up to his flat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a while  
> We'll see how this goes  
> \--  
> Un beta'd  
> \--  
> This is fiction and my timeline may be totally screwed.

Getting drafted is like, the best thing that's ever happened to John. Sam's older than he is, Sam's been through this before. He was taken 6th and it's John's dream to be drafted that high. John hasn't seen Sam for nearly a year, the longest they've ever been apart and John misses him like he'd miss his left hand. They skype a lot, but it's not the same and it never will be. John knows the chances of them playing on the same team together, something that they haven't done for ages, are 1 in 30 and that's if neither of them get traded. John is just one of hundreds of the guys sitting in the stadium, sweating through their t-shirts, anxious to see if their dream will come true. For John, it's not if, it's where. He's read the papers enough to know that he's being taken, he just doesn't know when. 

Sam joins them at the draft, something that John is ecstatic about. The only problem is, they barely see each other. Sam hangs back, out of the spotlight but John is thrust into it. They say he's going to go first. It's all he's ever wanted, but it's just too much and he wants to go home and fall asleep next to Sam.  The rest of the day is sort of a blur, right up until Garth Snow steps up to the podium and calls John's name, and he's actually the first pick. John's mouth drops open and Sam grins, getting up to pat John on the back, just like the rest of his family. John wants to kiss him. He doesn't. 

 

They get back to the hotel that night and Sam is quiet, while everyone else is buzzing around John. When their eyes meet, John briefly catches Sam's wry smile before it's gone and he can't tell imagination from reality anymore. They don't get a single moment alone that night and John would be so happy to just give up on hockey, if he could just get a lifetime with Sam by his side. 

When they get home, actual home, Sam takes his duffle bag and chucks it on the floor next to John's bed before sprawling out on it. John awkwardly unpacks, slipping his clothes back into his dresser drawer. 

"How long are you here?" John asks, the first phrase he's spoken to Sam since he arrived. 

"As long as I can, Johnny." He replies sadly. 

John thinks, screw it, and then he's joining Sam on the bed, pressing him down into the sheets, pushing his lips against Sam's urgently. Sam indulges him, rolling John over on the crisp sheets and taking control. 

John goes with Sam to visit his old place. He drives there, mechanically making the turns that are ingrained into his brain from lonely nights, while Sam looks out the window and stays quiet. 

John isn't normally blunt but he suddenly says, "What's up with you?" 

Sam looks up at him, eyes unreadable. "You know what this means right?" 

John shakes his head, turning onto Sam's street. 

"You're going to New York and I'm going back to Edmonton and those two places are no where near each other." 

"We'll make it work. We always have."

"That was before we were both gone. I'm not going to be coming back to Ontario to visit you. It's going to be hard."

John pulls into Sam's driveway and slams his hands against the wheel. Hard. Sam touches his arm gently and John can't help it. He starts to cry, right there in the car, in front of Sam's house. It's not the last time it happens. 

 

Sam flies out on Tuesday. John drives him to the airport and holds Sam for so long at the airport that the security guard starts giving them weird looks. The thing is, John knows this is good bye for a very long time and he can't fathom it. He loves Sam. 

 

John drives to Sam's old house every night and sits outside it. He goes to Sam's favorite ice cream shop, the store Sam used to be the manager at, any place that reminds him of Sam. It's torture, but John just misses him so much. 

 

He gets to New York and everything is crazy. It's loud and bright compared to the quiet streets of Mississauga. He's going to be the star of this failing franchise. He's going to play here for a very long time and as much as he wants that, he wants Sam even more. He can dial Sam's number in his sleep, drive to his old house in his head, and see Sam's eyes behind his closed ones when he sleeps. He has everything he's ever wanted, except one thing. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback?

**Author's Note:**

> Please let me know what you thought.


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